Date Night

Tonight, we went to our favorite burger place for dinner: FatBurger. (It's tons better than it sounds!) It wasn't really a "date"--but we had a really great time together and with some fabulous friends. . .and this picture really has nothing to do with this post except for the fact that Steve and I were spending quality time playing Scrabble over dinner a few nights ago!! I was winning. Just wanted to make that clear.

Next month I am attending a conference in Richmond by Elyse Fitzpatrick, author of Helper by Design, God's Perfect Plan for Women in Marriage. I'm sure I will have much to report! But what I want to report on, here and now, are 5 questions that fit perfectly into a date night--that come from Shaunti Feldhan's book, For Women Only. During the month of October, at a seminary wives' meeting, Martha Davey spoke on the subject of being our husband's helper. It was fabulous. I came home from that meeting with a feeling of tremendous weight--of responsibility--the realization that I can make or break my husband's ministry. I decided to follow Martha's advice and ask my husband the following five questions--and I was amazed by the outcome. Amazed, because Steve's answers were as if he had sat in that room and heard exactly what Martha spoke about. In fact, on question #5, Steve's answer was "Always assume the best". I turned to him and said in a teacherly tone, "Did you look on my paper???!!" I showed him on my handout, that beside question #5, Martha had typed: "Always assume the best!!" (!!!!)

These questions were a wonderful starting point for me. Questions that were so pointed, it was very easy for Steve to give me clear answers. I hope that on your next date night, if you should find yourself with nothing to say, (which I hope would never happen!!!!) you will take the time to ask your husband these questions. I know it was a great wake-up moment for me.

What can I do to. . .
1) Respect your judgment and decisions?
2) Respect your abilities?
3) Respect you in my communication to you?
4) Respect you in public?
5) Respect you in my assumptions about you?


  1. Such a great set of questions! I definitely need to sit down with Paul & find out his answers. Thank you for sharing!

  2. It is so true about a wife making or breaking the husbands ministry! Thanks for sharing the questions. I really miss the seminary wives meetings!!!!! They were always encouraging. It's to bad once you "sit out" you never see or hear from anyone there.

  3. Hey Kristin--hey even though Russell isn't is school this semester, you should come this Saturday to the Ericsons--it's at 9:00 I think--and we're doing breakfast--which is a nice change from Thursday evenings;)

  4. Great post, Sarah! #1 Don and I LOVE Fatburger too!! We've only been once and had a great experience and have talked and talked about going back, but haven't yet! #2 I SOOOO wanted to go to that conference as well, but Don and I are leaving for our vacation to IRELAND that Sunday - man, I wish it would have been a different date! I have heard her at the Nouthetic Counseling Conference in Indiana last year and was a great help! #3 Thanks for publishing those questions. Don and I have our little date nights as well, and we go through questions just like those to help our relationship . . . I'll make a note of these and use these later! Thanks again Sarah!

  5. Keara Trep1:06 PM

    Hey friend! I enjoyed your post alot. :) I always enjoy your posts! Dave and I love to have quiet scrabble nights together - it's one of our fav things to do! Next time we have a date night I will be asking Dave these questions. It is such a huge weight to know that we as wives can make or break our husband's ministry. Such a sobering thought.

  6. Love the post. And I am a little bit jealous of your getting to go to the conference. Such a sinful response on my part...but I will turn my sinful jealousy into prayers that God would allow you to soak up everything she says so you can come back and tell me everything! Maybe now that prayer is turning a bit selfish...but you understand what I mean:) Mark and I don't get date nights out too often, but we do love to sit and truly communicate with each other. I asked him some similar questions when I read through Shaunti Feldhan's book For Women Only...but I look forward to having another great set of questions to go through. Thanks for your sweet reminder to each of us wives!

  7. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Sarah!


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